Tonight my friend, who shall remain anonymous to protect the innocent, and I rented a little movie called, "Whiteout". It was not a great movie, in fact, it was a bad movie, but it did allow for two awesome things to happen. One, my friend and I talked through the entire movie because we were bored. Two, at one point this conversation happened:

At some point in the movie (I'll not spoil it for you by going into too much detail), Kate Beckinsale decides that she needs to stick her hand into the chest cavity of a cadaver because she thinks there might be treasure in there.

Friend: "That's gross! Can you even imagine sticking your hand in a dead person's chest?"

Me (with all earnestness): "I know, right? Without gloves? That's so gross."

Because that's how I roll. I'll dig in a dead body, but for the love of god I'm going to need a lot of layers of protection between my skin and the germs. I'm not some kind of sicko.

In other news, I believe that the secret ingredient at Jimmy John's is crack. For the past two days for lunch and dinner, my friend and I have eaten the same meal: A #6, no mayo and a bag of chips. You think it'd be tiring, but there's nothing I like more than routine.

Well, I have to get up tomorrow and write some dissertation type writing, so I am going to say goodnight to the internet now. I know this post was short and sort of a tease, but so is _______ (insert name of enemy in blank).

It's Not Me, It's Them.

Today brought me two rejection letters, but I've got to say, save for the time I got a frosty for a break-up of a relationship that never really happened***, these were by far the nicest rejections I've ever had. Especially the second one. That one is from a southern university. They do it right in the south. It's like they told me that I'm too good for them. I like it. Lie to me people, lie to me.

Rejection #1

Thank you for taking the time to speak with the search committee via telephone for the position of Assistant Professor of Psychology. The Search Committee enjoyed discussing your credentials with you and the opportunity to get to know you further. Your qualifications made you an extremely strong candidate. Our apologies for the length of time it has taken to get back in contact with you, however the filling of such a position is a carefully considered process and can take some time. We were fortunate to have had an exceptionally well-qualified group of applicants.

The search committee was impressed with your candidacy however this letter is to advise you that they have extended an offer and received a commitment from a particularly strong applicant who brings a wealth of experience with them and whose specific qualifications more closely fit the needs of the position.

The search committee thanks you for your interest and wish you the very best as you consider your future career path.

Rejection # 2

We have completed our initial and second reviews of candidates for our Assistant Professor of Psychology (General Experimental/Cognitive) job opening. It is with regret that I inform you that we will not be able to offer you an opportunity to interview for our open position. Our consideration of candidates like you whose background is appropriate to our opening focused on our needs as an institution whose primary mission is teaching (within and outside of psychology) and general service to the institution. While your references were positive, your materials engaging, and your research and professional development accomplishments impressive, we do not believe that our position will fit your professional goals. Your work (and teaching evaluations from Cognitive Psychology) make it clear that you are a scholar whose talents will be in demand and that you will make in impact on our field.

We thank you for considering our college and wish you only the best in your job search.

***If you understand this we've been friends more than 10 years or I've bored you to death and told you every story from my life.