Every Party has a Pooper, that's Why We Invited You

This was a wild and crazy weekend around our house. Unfortunately, I like neither wild nor crazy things, so I wasn't exactly pleased, but whatever. If we filled the Grand Canyon with all the things that displease me, well, it'd be pretty damn full, let's just leave it at that.

On Friday, it was sort of a low-key night though out of the ordinary. It was raining incredibly hard as I left to go pick up the form for the church classes from that nun. So I got completely soaked from my shoes to my knees and my arms were damp as well. Then as I was waiting for the bus, the rain stopped. If I hadn't gone to get the church form I probably would have remained dry. The best part about the whole church thing was that after keeping me in limbo (ha, score, church term) for a little over a month, the nun finally gives me the information and it is utterly useless to me. UTTERLY USELESS. We can't take any of those classes anyway. It was a big waste of my time and energy to get this nun to help me out. I was upset by that. But really the best part of Friday was the tornado warning. At least the buses were still running and we got home. I have to say that with all the warnings that happen and then no tornadoes, it is just setting everyone up to ignore the warning, but whatever. After we got home and got dry, Zach and I ate dinner and watched TV for a bit. Then one of my other roommates and I went to Target and the grocery store and then came home and drank a bottle of champagne and went to bed. That was fun. So I got to bed around 1 on Friday.

On Saturday I bummed around the house for a bit then Z and I hit up the mall again. Z got some clothes and shoes and I got two purses. I'll have to take pictures of them. It was a buy one get one for 88 cents and they are super cute purses. Then we went to Menard's and got potting supplies for our garden and some fun stuff like that. We came home, ordered pizza and wings and had our neighbors over to watch the Orioles v. Sox game. It was a fun time. We ate and drank and socialized with all the roommates and our neighbors. It was all going fine for me until I tried to go to bed at 12:30...and that's when it really went down hill I feel.

So one of our neighbors had to leave because he had work the next day, but the other one did not have to leave. My three roommates (that includes Z) and the neighbor were downstairs talking and drinking when I went to bed...they remained that way until about 5 in the morning. During that time I fell asleep from about 12:35 until about 2 AM. Then I was pretty much awake though trying desperately to will myself to sleep from about 2 until 5 when I just decided, "if you can't beat them, get up and clean the house." THEY WERE SO F*ING LOUD. Sweet Lord. I don't know how many times we've all mentioned that the house doesn't seem to be very soundproofed between the walls and floors. Sounds carry in the house. EVERYONE has commented on this. So EVERYONE was aware that if they were loud (or hell, even just not quiet as a mouse) that the sound would carry. You'd think that 4 people could put all these facts together:
1. Sounds carry in this house really well.
2. It's between 12:30 AM and 5 AM.
3. There is at least one person in the house trying to sleep (if not the neighbors on the other side of our wall).
4. WE ARE BEING REALLY F*ING LOUD.

If they had managed to connect the dots there they might have thought to shut the hell up, but alas, apparently not. I just kept hoping that they'd stop and go to bed soon, so I just stayed in bed. Also, maybe TMI, but I wasn't really wearing pajamas and I didn't feel like getting dressed just to go downstairs and yell at people. If I had thought that they would quiet down I might have, but I've dealt with people who are drinking or adolescents before and it never works. It really reminded me of the many times I've been at a sleepover or camp out (with the Girl Scouts) and have decided that I was done and wanted to sleep. I would lay there until I could take it no more and then I'd start being snarky and telling everyone to shut up. It never really worked then either, but I'm sure that everyone thought I was just the biggest wet blanket ever. Yeah, I get it, no fun. But you know what? At least I'm respectful of your needs, you jerkwads.

So at 5 AM when I decided that they were pretty much never going to sleep and that I wasn't going back to sleep, I got up. I took a shower and then I went downstairs. At this point they were mostly leaving to go to bed. I cleaned the living room, the kitchen, took out the trash, put all the cans/bottles/etc. in the recycling and then I started on my chores. I cleaned both bathrooms and I cleaned up my bedroom and started doing laundry. I'm not going to lie. I tried to be loud if I could. I wasn't really loud unfortunately. I should have brought out the radio and cranked the tunes and then when they all got mad told them that I thought all bets were off. Bastards. I cleaned, organized and did chores for a bit. Then I went on a walk and saw some birds which was neat. I jogged for a little bit (emphasis on a little bit) and then I went downstairs and did my arm workout (I can bench about 45 lbs. now...so good). Then I bummed around for a bit more. I did most of the laundry by the time that Zach woke up again. He helped with the last couple loads. I took a nap from about 2:30 - 3:30 and then I ended up going to bed around 9 last night. The day went by slowly. I decided that the roommates were not inconsiderate, just ignorant...though that's a poor excuse in my opinion, but whatever.

And that was this weekend. I'm sure it says more about how lame I am rather than how lame the roommates are, but that's your opinion and this is my blog, so keep it to yourself.

Movie Meme

I'm phoning it in again. Why? Because I can. Also because I have a lot on my plate today. Just because talking about the weather is my new favorite thing, I'd like to mention that it is pouring outside. Thunder. Lightening. Or is it lightening and thunder, I can never remember which is the sound and which is the light...ha...Jesse....so precious. It's completely black out. Completely dark and completely wet outside. Honestly, the sun came up almost an hour ago, but it looks like the dead of night outside. Lame. Here, you can see for yourself. And now onto the canned portion of our blog:

Here's a list of 239 films. Supposedly if you've seen more than 85 of them you probably have no life. At least that’s what it said on the blog that I stole this from and I’ve decided that passing on corrupt and misleading information is the entire purpose of the internet, so I’m sticking with it. This game is fun because you can play along at home.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
total = 9

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
total = 5

(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
total = 6

( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
total = 5

(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village – Except this one should count because Jesse told me the whole plot
( ) Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
total = 7

( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect – I think Jesse told me the whole plot of this one too.
( ) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
total = 4

(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong
( ) A Cinderella Story
total = 6

(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
total = 4

( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( x) Flubber
( x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
total = 7

( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
total = 5

(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
(x) Bad Boys – Yeah, I saw this twice in the theater with Andy A. and Brian G.
(x) Bad Boys 2 – And then somehow I went back for me…wow.
total = 6

( ) Joy Ride
(x ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
( x) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
total = 6

( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
total = 4

(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x ) Rush Hour
( x) Rush Hour 2
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( x) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
total = 6

(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
total = 8

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
total = 7

(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick .
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
total = 9

(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
total = 6

(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
(x) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
total = 7

( ) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
( ) Three
( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Nightwatch
(x) Monsters Inc.
( ) Titanic - And super proud of it.
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
total = 4

(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
( x) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
total = 6

( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
total = 5

( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x ) Army of Darkness
( x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
( x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage

total = 7

(x ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
(x ) Evil Dead
( x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
total = 8

So that makes 147 out of 239 films that I've seen. I'm sure that some of you can do better. But I bet there are those that would do worse and to those people I say, "BURN."

A Weather Report and A Meme (Question/Answer Thingie)

The weather is crappy outside. It's raining, more like pouring, there is definitely an aged man with a deviated septum (get it? no? ask someone to explain it to you, I'll wait here). Lame, lame weather currently. But it was nice the past 3 days, so I guess I can't complain too much. No, wait, that's right, I can complain as much as I want. Stupid, stupid Iowa weather. Dark, cloudy, pouring felines and canines. RIDICULOUS. Bring back the sun you lousy state. Bring it back now!

Yesterday Zach and I went on a bike ride for about 40 minutes or so. It was pretty fun. I borrowed our neighbor's bike and Zach ended up patching the tire and fixing the handle bars and brakes. He did a nice job. We had a fun time cruising the bike paths and raising hell. No, just kidding, we didn't even lift hell a little bit. We were pretty sedate. But it was fun nonetheless. Today though, no such outside joy. Today we will take the bus home and get our exercise indoors. Sadly, I won't be able to go home at my usual time due to some unfortunate scheduling issues which I was not able to control. These issues anger me. I hate when someone else dictates my schedule.

Anyway, now for a meme. I just felt like answering more questions about myself. I know that inquiring minds want to know. I stole this from a random blog.

Here Are Five Things

I've always wanted to:
1. Travel the world, but without having to fly for a really long time.
2. Be thin. But you gotta love what you are.
3. Be able to teleport at will. So much cheaper and easier and faster than flying.
4. Be fluent in multiple languages (not a huge desire, but it would be cool).
5. Marry someone awesome...oh, look at the shameless ploy...still, true.

Found in my bag:
1. Advil
2. Handiwipe (just one package, not anti-bacterial, that's good for me)
3. Lip gloss
4. Umbrella
5. Cell phone case

Found in my wallet:
1. Multiple debit/credit cards
2. About $12 and some change
3. A list of the top 100 Mystery novels
4. Some Subway (restaurant, not transportation) coupons
5. Two library cards for different branches

I'm currently into:
1. Planning the wedding
2. Iced Tea
3. Watching internet television
4. Avoiding work like it's my job
5. Getting all my facts from the internet

And stay tuned tomorrow for a movie meme. Isn't that crazy? Oh yeah, it really, really is. You could call it madcap! I guess you could also call it lazy. But I'm just trying to give the people what they want...and what they want is more Rose.

Today is the First Day of the Rest of This Week

I wish this was the type of research that went on here. Well, actually I suppose it is, but I wish people talked about it like that. That would be awesome. That's about all I have today. Except to mention that my left knee hurts. Oh and I have a commercial you should watch. Not because I want to advertise for these people, but because I find it amusing...especially the part at the end, "leave the ram". Fantastic.

Go here and watch it.

Oh and because you didn't ask, I'll bore you with more details from my life. Um...I'm going to go get some rolls at the co-op so that Zach and I can have some salmon burgers with cilantro pesto tonight for dinner. I think it's going to work out well for us. I have meetings today, but no subjects to run. I have to work on my defense (not criminal, ha, they'll never catch me for that) and try to accomplish some programming. We'll see. It's times when I have to program an experiment that I wish I had been a computer science major. Let's see. Um...huh...yeah...I really did have nothing when I started today and it's not looking more promising now. I just wanted to share those two bits of funny with you. Oh, it's sunny today. That's nice. I only wore a t-shirt and jeans to work, no jacket or anything. Wow...this is even starting to bore me and I'm my biggest fan. Ok, well, that's it for today. Maybe something awesome will happen later and I can blog about it.

I Share Because I Care

This morning when I got to work there was a giant, huge, really, really big cockroach on the door to my building. He (or she, I don't know) was on the door jamb right by the handle to the door. For about 30 seconds I didn't know what to do. Did I want to touch the door? Try to go around to another door (usually the hallways are locked that early in the morning so I can't get in another way)? Just go home? I was leaning toward just going home, but then decided to brave it. I grabbed the handle, flung the door open and ran through it. Then I checked myself to make sure that the cockroach hadn't jumped off and attacked me. Don't worry, I'm fine. I made it out ok. It was pretty scary though. I'm not really down with the cockroach cause. I'm anti-scary gross bugs.

Then when I got in the office it got really dark outside. There was a thunderstorm for maybe 20 minutes or so. Now the sun is almost out, it's cloudy, but a bit brighter. The bug and the storm made me want to go home and curl up in bed though. That would be sooooo sweet. Oh well.

Today Zach and I will open our first joint bank account. That's pretty awesome, our financial future together begins today. I'm going to try to trick him into putting a lot of money in there and then I'm going to embezzle it. But if you are Zach and you are reading this blog...that's not what I am going to do. I'm just going to put our money together and we'll live happily ever after.

Other than that...well, let's see. I'm running some participants in my experiment. I'm pretty much a one-woman research team. There is totally an "i" in my team. And I am working slowly and not very well on preparing for my oral defense for my comps. I just want them to read the papers and decide. Don't make me answer questions. I'm not good at answering questions. It's all the pressure. I don't even listen to the question, I just think, "oh man, oh man, they are asking you a question, you gotta pay attention, listen, listen..." and then they finish the question and I have no idea what it was. It's like my own personal handicap. Oh well.

That's a wrap. Hope every one's day is shaping up swimmingly. Post 108 went really well today I think.

More P.S.A.s Real and Otherwise

You may remember from before that I like to post P.S.A.s (public service announcements for those not in the "biz") from time to time...ok, just once, but it could happen more often, you never know.

First P.S.A. (real one) -

You should all go out and buy "Forever" stamps before May 12, 2008. Because they are raising the postage rates again after that date. The Forever stamp will allow you to send first class mail at the current rate (41 non-existent cent sign). As many of you know, I'm in love with the United States Postal Service, so the issue of stamps is one that is near and dear to my heart. And if any of you still manage to send real mail, you might want to get on this.

Second P.S.A. (still real, but not quite as important) -

You can go here to read what to do in an Earthquake. I'm sure this natural disaster does not affect many of you, but it's always nice to be prepared. Also, it's sort of funny if you picture me in an earthquake. You can just imagine how well I deal with that type of emergency situation.

Third P.S.A. -

I just lied. this one is not really a public service announcement, but I wanted to share and I'm nothing if not flexible. So today, just right now, in fact, I had two sisters sign up for my experiment and come in. It was awesome. I was pretty sure they were sisters given the same last name and signing up for the same time slot, but I suppose it could just be a coincidence. So I asked them when they were signing the consent forms. When I asked them their names, the older sister answered. And then when I asked if they were sisters, she answered again. Then I asked if they were twins, they aren't, they are 10 months apart...and she answered again. I loved it. It just seemed like a neat dynamic. I picture them going everywhere together and the younger one not talking. I think that would be awesome. I created a whole little world for them to live in, in my head. I do that a lot. I observe people and then make up their life stories. Nothing too involved, but I tend to try to figure out people's relationships to others in their group and that sort of thing. I guess it gives me something to do in between earthquakes, tornadoes and possible flooding. I just wanted to share that little moment from my day. It amused me. And now, back to work.

On the Other Side of the Cubicle Wall Continues

You can keep up with this thread here.

“Heart, huh? Any relation to Spade?”

“Um, no, not really. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?”, I said in my best honeyed tones.

“Name’s, Bainbridge. Admiral Bainbridge to you. Listen, sweetheart, may I call you sweetheart?”

I thought, “Only if you want a size 9 heel to the head”, but what I said was, “Call me whatever you want, just don’t call me late for dinner, lover.”

He continued. This man was obviously part fish as he didn’t need to come up for air. He didn’t pause for a second. “Listen doll face, I’ve got a proposition for you. I’m starting a new project it’s a business venture, well, it’s a venture of some sort, let’s just leave it at that for now. I’m gathering together an elite group of individuals. Skilled individuals, see? Detail people, you see? I´ll delve into the exploit and the nature of the individuals later. I’m not a trusting man, Heart, not a trusting man at all. So what I would really like is to hire you as a member of my team, a watchdog of sorts. A secret weapon for me. You will be given tasks in the presence of the other team members but outside of team meetings, your job will be to watch the others. I have a feeling that you’d be very good at watching, huh, sweetheart?"

“Well, I have been known to watch, although I prefer action.”

"Ha, ha, ha. I don’t doubt it. I’m sending through the directions to my house. Our first meeting will be there on Wednesday at 8pm. Come for drinks a bit early and stay for supper. Oh, and there’s one thing, doll. Can you wear a disguise?"

“How would you know if I was wearing a disguise if you don’t even know what I look like?”

“Let me worry about that, just come in a disguise if you want the job.”

I started to reply, but realized I was speaking to a dead receiver. The bastard had hung up on me. Of all the nerve! Who the hell did this Admiral think he was? The directions to his house rolled off the fax. I started to draw up a contract. I’d bring it by for drinks on Wednesday. And when I got there I would give this guy a piece of my mind. A big piece.

Iowa: The Suckiest State in the Union

Ok, the title isn't really fair. I haven't lived in all 50 states. Hell, I haven't even visited all 50 states, so I can't say without a doubt that Iowa is the suckiest state in the union. I'm betting there are worse. In fact, I've been to Texas, and well, Texas might be suckier, but still. Iowa. You are killing me. Are you proud of yourself? Do you feel good keeping me down? What is the deal?

You, loyal readers, might remember the other reasons that I think Iowa sucks. I'll recap for those who might have missed out.

1. Iowa is in the middle of the country. Everyone knows the cool stuff happens on the outside edges of things. Quick, what's better than the inside? That's right, the outside.

2. Iowa is full of corn. Yeah, corn. And they have so much corn that they force it on you as a fuel source. But they don't just make it so that you have an option. They try to trick you into using it by putting tiny, almost imperceptible stickers that mark the gas pump as "ethanol". And of course that's the cheapest gas, so you think, "oh, I'll get the cheap stuff". But then you have to pull back as if burned because you can't put ethanol in a car that's not equipped for it...and guess whose car is not equipped for it?

3. It rains here. And it's humid, hot, dark, lame. The rain is nice because it goes in my car and ruins the floor.

4. Ice storms. Never had an ice storm in PA. That's more than I can say for Iowa. Ice stormed right up here. And I lost power because of it. I was forced to order Chinese food and eat it by candlelight like some animal.

5. Snow. Sure, sure, everybody, I'm sure this was the "worst" winter in a long time. I'm sure that you normally don't have this much snow. I'm not sure how your empty assurances help dig my car out or keep me from breaking my neck as I slip on the ice, but hey, thanks.

6. They don't plow the streets here. This is related to the snow issue, but still. Why can't you plow the roads, what am I supposed to do? I have to shovel my sidewalks or I will get fined, but apparently the road is another story.

7. Flooding. This is related to rain, snow and general suckiness. I have yet to experience this, but I'm sure it's coming.

8. Tornadoes. That's right. Tornadoes. I can't tell you how many times I've spent the evening cowering in my neighbor's house. Oh yes, I can. Two so far. More to come I'm sure.

9. And that brings us to today's point (we took the long way, deal with it), earthquakes. Yeah, earthquakes. Two of them so far today. One at about 4:45, which I didn't remember, but I woke up then, so I guess that's why. One at about 10:15 or so. I was sitting in my office for the second one and I started to feel weird and then I could see that my computer seemed to be shaking and the tea in the glass on my desk was moving a la Jurassic Park. At first I thought, tornado, but I didn't hear any sirens. Then I thought, I might be hallucinating as I didn't think there were earthquakes in the Midwest. How stupid am I?

Boy, I tell you, the desert may be dry and running out of water, but I would take living in Arizona where there are no natural disasters (drought doesn't count) any day. Seriously. Iowa should be renamed Suckville. Population: You.

And now it's raining again. Which is good because I have to go home soon and I was concerned that if it wasn't raining I might make it there dry and not cranky and then I'd have to drive to Chicago without fearing for my life. I think it's much better this way. Don't you?

All About Me...of course

It's funny, but I was just noticing today that the weather in the midwest and my mood are about as changeable. If you know anything about midwestern weather or my mood, I'm sure you can sympathize. I try to be on an even keel, but it's just not something that seems to happen. Oh well, you get the lows and you get the highs. I guess, unless you are Zach, you can pick and choose which one you want.

It's dark here today because it is supposed to storm, but at least it is warm-ish. Supposedly about 56 for the high today. I wore a jacket to the bus today, but quickly took it off. It's humid as well, which makes me feel like it's much hotter than it is. I'm special like that. Well, honestly, I'm special in so many ways. But that's one of them.

I hope the weather holds out for tomorrow because Zach and I are going to Chicago. I'm excited. This weekend will be a nice chance to relax. I will get to see Grandma and watch the Cubs and eat some Superdawg. So delicious. I plan to squeeze as many baked goods out of her as I can. Go me!

Anyway, I'm trying to get back into the posting, so look to the blog in the future. Tell your friends. Start fan clubs. Whatever it takes to get the word out.

A Day in the Life

Yesterday it was warm. It was in the 60s. Zach and I for the 3rd day in a row went for our vitamin D intake by completing some outdoor activities. On Sunday, you may recall, I caddied while he played Frisbee Golf (or as the "pros" call it, Disc Golf). On Monday we went to the park near our house to practice the fundamentals of the disc throwing. I put the "fun" in fundamentals and because Zach showed such marked improvement in aim and distance he only had to do one lap. And he only had to do that lap for mouthing off to me at the start of training. You can't let kids today get too mouthy. So yesterday we went and flew a kite. It was a tiny affair, covered in cartoon bugs and the string came with a knot in it so that the kite didn't get too high, but it was $1.99 at Walgreens, so it was awesome. We also fixed our neighbor's windshield wipers. Well, fix is too strong a word. We put new blades on for him (not the Mormon, by the way). It was an awesome sense of accomplishment. I'm not going to try to describe it here because that would just cheapen it, but Zach and I worked as a team to accomplish something that we've never done before and I loved it. I'm actually very good at putting things together. It was a real win for the couple though because we each figured out a piece of how it should be done. And that's why I'm getting married folks, I've found my teammate.

Today I am still taking it a bit easier. I've got some work to do here, but mostly I've got meetings and some subjects to run and the rest of the time I will likely be looking at news stories and slacking off. Zach commented that I was really relaxed yesterday and how much he missed that. I know baby, I know. The better version of myself is the relaxed one. It's so unfortunate that the worries make me all lame. Oh well. Onward and upward.

I also tried two new recipes yesterday and made a really good dinner. It was essentially vegan as well I noticed (except for the butter, but that could be substituted out easily) and so I am going to pass on the recipes to Sara and other vegan friend I have here.

That's about it. Oh, yeah, except for this other gem. I was telling Zach yesterday (as I've been saying for awhile now) that I find the people here to be really nice, but I can't connect with them. I feel like they are nice, but there's just something missing. I also feel like all of my interactions are awkward...and I think if you find yourself feeling awkward over 80% of the time, it's likely to be you that's the problem, not the rest of the world, ok, emo kid? Just suck it up and realize that everyone really does "get" you. Anyway, I was talking about how I try to be nice back and Zach said, "do you think it's because you can't be sarcastic and cutting with these people that you don't feel like you relate?" I swear to you, it was like a brilliant 1000-watt light bulb went off. Yeah, Zach, yeah, I do. That's exactly the problem I think. I need people who I don't think will be offended. I've tried to be more like myself, but these people are not responsive to sarcasm on the whole. They don't seem to find that funny. And that's about, oh, what? Maybe 85% of what I do? Something like that. I find it highly special that I am the one in a Psychology program (albeit, not that type of psychology) and Zach is the one who has insights like this. I guess it is true what they say though, when you're looking at your own behaviors/feelings/etc. sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees.

Well, I've filled my quota for the day. End communication.

On The Other Side of the Cubicle Wall

Read this, this and that before proceeding, please.

I walked into the “office” and was immediately assailed by the smells of garlic, basil and tomatoes. It could be worse. I’m Italian by heritage and so those smells are as ingrained in me as my hirsuteness. My last place of employment was over a dry cleaners and I’m fairly certain that I’ve inhaled enough chemical cleaner to do some damage, but that’s life. You have to keep going in this world or what’s the point.

I walk over to my cubicle and glance with pride at the new name plate: “Helen Heart” it reads. Hel for short. Hel Heart, P.I., pleased to make your acquaintance. I take a seat at my desk and as I do, I glance surreptitiously at the guy in the cubicle next to me. I’d say we were rivals, but that implies that I think he can hold a candle to my abilities as a P.I., and I don’t. He’s a damn fine bartender, but I think he really lacks the stuff to make a collar on his own. Sure, he’s solved a lot of cases and sure he’s often asked for by the clients, but most of that has been luck. Plain and simple. I don’t rely on luck. I rely on skill. Skill and feminine wiles. Both of which I have in abundance. I’m what you call Zaftig. I’ll save you the trouble of looking it up. It just means I can fill out a dress. And boy, can I. Don’t let them ever tell you that females are the weaker sex. That’s just a load of horse puckey dreamed up by the boys up top to keep a good woman down, or on her back, but it’s ridiculous. I’ve made men cower and beg at my feet. But enough about me, let’s get back to the case at hand.

As I glance over at Green, I can see he’s on a phone call. I sit down at my desk, pull out my headset, and carefully place it so that it looks like it’s covering my ears, but so I can hear everything he says. I listen. He’s not really saying much. I think he manages to squeak out an “ok” or a “yes, sir”, but for the most part he seems to be just sitting there. You see, that’s what I mean about Green, good listener, but not much of an action man. I put on my headphones. It’s obviously not worth my time to eavesdrop any more. I usually try to help him out with these things, but I’ve got my own business to attend to. I’m typing up a report on a case I solved just last week.

I hear the fax machine going in the cubicle next to me. Well, well, well, Green is multitasking. I hope he can read whatever comes off the fax and keep up his taxing end of the conversation. I pipe some cool jazz into my headphones as I begin typing up my report. I’m just getting into the grove when the music cuts out. My phone is ringing through. I tap the correct button on my headset and answer the phone.

“Acme Investigations & Italian, Hel Heart Speaking. Personal, professional, or take-out?”

The voice that answered back would change my life forever.

Post 101 Even More Spectacular than Post 100

I feel as though I should keep it together and weave a coherent storyline for you. But then I also feel like, this is my blog, it's better than yours, and if I want to write a series of unconnected thoughts then I will.

• I'm working on the wedding registries today. Why? Because when you get married you have to register for gifts...or so the Germans would have us believe*. In reality, Zach and I are poor and what do poor people need? Money. We don't need a waffle maker, but damned if I wasn't compelled to register for one. Oh well. But if you are looking for the perfect gift for us, it's money. We have most of the house things we need now...and we are going to move out of Iowa soon enough and don't need to be renting a giant moving van just to take stuff with us. Plus, Heidi and Anthony have a lot of stuff already, we can't be cluttering up their house with too much extra stuff.**
• I'm at work today. Today was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel the oppression of work bearing down on me. It's a feeling that will come back soon as I prepare to orally defend (not like that Jesse, not like that) my comps. But for the moment, all is well because I have finished my papers. Each was 54 pages including references, appendices, figures and tables. That's 108 pages. It's also eerie that both were exactly 54 pages. Eerie or well-planned by someone with a hint of OCD? You be the judge.
• Today, while at work, I cleaned my counter tops and sink and dusted. I also cleared off my desk and put things into neat little piles. Tomorrow I have to really start preparing for the defense, but I wanted to just take a minute.
• Yesterday I was Zach's caddy for disc golf. That's golf with a Frisbee. Why was I the caddy? Well, there are a couple reasons. 1) I can't throw a Frisbee well 2) I get frustrated easily 3) While I am pretty sure that it was too cold for the ticks to be awake yet, I wasn't taking too many chances 4) I'm very good at knowing what needs to be done to be successful, but not doing it. For example, I taught my brother to roller skate and he's good at it, but I can't roller skate. I completely understand how it's supposed to be done and what techniques to use...I just can't do it. I make an awesome caddy though because I have good advice and I kept score.
• It's sunny outside right now. That's pretty kick ass. It's also supposed to be warmish...maybe in the 50s. Zach and I are going to walk home which should be pretty fun. Then we might hit the park after our workout (today it's legs, gotta work on those calves) and practice with the Frisbee. Zach's good, but I really think he needs to practice the fundamentals.
• I keep calling this nun at the church across the street from me. Zach and I have to take a class if we want to get married in the church. She keeps not calling me back. Can everyone pray to God to make her call me back? I'm assuming that's how the system works. Tell her boss and I'll be really grateful.
• I have to go now. I need to work on figuring out what every one's wearing to the wedding. My mom and everyone else apparently are dying to know. I gotta tell you, show up in potato sacks for all I care. I don't want a big white dress, but whatever. I must continue on.

Out.




*20 points for knowing this quote for those of you playing our home addition.
**It's a running joke now. Yes, funny.

I Thought the 100th Post would be Slightly More Exciting than This

You did too? Yeah, well, we can't always get what we want. Which is a shame. I could totally use a teacup piglet right now. I had a dream last night that there were miniature elephants, hippos and pigs and I was going to get to play with them. It was pretty awesome. I love all things tiny. It's too bad I'm not a giant because then the whole world would be tiny. Man, so many good wishes, so little time.

Speaking of little time, I'm sort of not working right now which isn't helping that conclusion get written or those papers get a final editizing (yep, that's a word, never mind what spell check tells you). But that's ok. It's only 7:40 in the morning. Hell, in AZ it's only 5:40 in the morning. So I've got plenty of time left in the day. Plus it's still really dark outside. Why? Well, I assume that it has something to do with the black clouds raining down um...rain. Raining down rain like clouds are wont to do (not very descriptive, huh?).

Anyway, I have to run a subject in about 15 minutes. If, IF, she shows up this time. Last time she didn't show and then sent me an email about how she was at the room, but no one came out to get here. That's bullshit for a bunch of reasons. 1) I compulsively check the hallway when I think someone is going to be here. I checked for her from about 7:45 until about 8:45 (her appointment was for 8 in the morning the other time too). 2) The door and hallway have multiple signs stating, "If you are late or have been waiting more than 5 minutes, please knock on the door." and 3) I could just tell she was lying. But honestly the first two reasons were super good. But whatever, I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I am nothing if not compassionate. So we'll see what happens this time. Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, I take away your credit and smear your name on the internet.

This post is really a post of mixed blessings. On the one hand, I seem to be feeling pretty wordy today (that's word-a-licious for you sticklers for proper grammar), on the other hand, I don't really have anything to say. I guess you really do win some and lose some. Perhaps post 101 will be even more fantastic. One can only hope. I'm starting to feel a little less weighed down by my comps. I still think it's quite possible that I will fail. But then I get to get out of Iowa...and I think Heidi and Anthony just fixed up their guest room for us, so that should be nice.

Keep being excited about life people.

So Close and Yet So Far

I'm at post 99. That's right. Go back and check. It's true. I'm almost there...and by almost there I guess I mean at 100 posts. There's not going to be anything exciting that occurs because of that fact, but I thought I would share. I'm all about sharing. Not recently. Recently I'm not at all about sharing. But that's just because I've been busy and it turns out that writing 80 pages worth of scholarly work (not including figures and references because that would just be silly) is a bit draining. And by a bit draining, I mean, "sucks the life right out of you and all those you love". But sometimes that's how life is I guess. I'm also working on the wedding plans.

In reference to the wedding plans, thus far, no one at the wedding has any idea what they will be wearing. Maybe I'll just tell everyone to "dress nice" and see how coordinated we end up being. That would be pretty awesome. I'll just passive aggressively make everyone wear what I want..."oh, you know what I like, just wear whatever you think would be best." And then when they get there I can just get all angry and sullen. Yeah, I guess if we're honest there's about an 80% chance of that happening anyway. Whatever. Some of us are good at being nice, some of us aren't.

I'm trying to think of exciting things in my life to mention, but I'm really coming up with a blank. Here's some highlights in list form. Because as I've rediscovered while writing my comps papers, I'm not good at transitions. If you can't fill in for yourself where I'm going and how I got there, too bad.

• Zach and I had plans with two different groups of people last Friday. We went to a bar with our neighbor and his niece and her husband. It was fun. We drank and ate bar food and talked. Then we went to a poker party with some people from work. This was still fun, although less so. It would have been super fun if everyone had been there to just have a good time and not "play some serious poker"-emphasis on SERIOUS. Some people feel that if you are not playing the game the "right way" then it's not worth playing. I'm not really one of the people. We weren't even playing for actual money. I hate competition. I just want everyone to be happy. The wedding should include board games. That would really make it the best day ever.
• Zach and I worked on Sunday and we took yesterday off. It was pretty fun. I did a bunch of wedding invitations and we watched Dan in Real Life. I thought it was pretty good. Sort of expected, but I do like Steve Carrell. He's good even in dramatic roles. And we watched some Bad Girls Club. Just a little bit. Zach's sort of enamored of that show. I think it's just so much of a train wreck. I know that they cut reality shows to present the craziest stuff at all times, but still I wonder how crazy these people are in real life. If I was on one of those shows, I wouldn't yell. I would just quietly walk around the house scowling and sighing as I cleaned up after people. Actually, I wouldn't be able to use a bathroom that 5-7 other strangers were using. Come to think of it with all the gross nasty sexual stuff that seems to happen in that show, I wouldn't be able to sit or stand anyone in the house. Oh, God, I have to go wash my hands now.
• Today I suppose I should work on the conclusions for my papers. In addition to being really bad at transitions, I'm bad at conclusions. You know what? You just read the whole paper, what did you think it was about? Why do I have to boil it all down and recap it for you? Huh. Now that I think about it, I hate "the recap" too. Both Jesse and Zach love the recap. Always wanting to recap. Me, I'm not really into it. It's sort of a shame that I've got another 50 years of recapping ahead of me then.
• I'm supposed to meet with my advisor in 5 minutes. I'm currently rocking out to Elton John and writing this. I guess I'll see if he comes up here and if not...well, maybe I can be bothered to go down there. We'll see.
• I really appreciate the lies the Weather Channel chose to tell today. "Sunny". Sunny? Hmm, I forget is sunny the one that is all dark and gray and there's not a lot of light and it looks like rain? Is that "sunny"? I'm bad with weather terms. At least they got the windy right.
  
• Our recent electric/gas bill was $.85. That's because last month we paid $276.83. I called last month and spoke to a customer service representative. I told her that I thought a mistake had been made because we've never used that much electricity/gas before and even though I know it was cold, it wasn't that cold. I also mentioned that our meters were changed out to automatic ones and maybe that was the problem. She assured me repeatedly that that was not the case. I was wrong. The last month was an estimate and when they got the actual reading they had to increase the amount. Just pay the damn bill. Well, this month a big ol' credit showed up. I called again because I'm not going to pay $.85 and then have them bill me $400 next month. This time I was told, "yeah, well, we messed up." When I explained what I thought had happened last month, she said, "yeah, you were right." Ha! Eat that Customer Service Representative #1. I WAS RIGHT! Burn!
• An as one final note, what happened to the cents sign? I miss that. I was I could type that easily. Oh well.

Hope you are all having a good day. 100 is almost here. Get excited.