(Original Post Date: September 13, 2006)

"I was not in class on Monday September 11. I have very swollen glans [sic] and spent the day at the doctors for a viral infection. I am going back later in the week for mono testing. I can bring my prescription to class if you would like I just wanted to make sure I did not miss a quiz or anything. I never ever like to miss class and I do not unless it is an extreme circumstance such as yesterday. I just wanted to let you know as soon as I could get moving around. Thank you for taking your time to read my concern."


The above is an email that I received from a student in the 320 person class that I TA for. The gender has been ambiguated (not a real word, but I like it better than "made ambiguous) to protect the…well, let's be charitable and say, "innocent". I find it amusing for a variety of reasons. First, the misspelling of glands (as cleverly noted with [sic]) is nice. Come on, it takes two seconds to press the little spell check symbol and it's just common courtesy. I'm not saying that you should obsess over grammar or even try to string together a coherent sentence, but you can't spell check? Second, I like the idea that he/she is willing to bring his/her prescription
for some sort of "viral infection" to class with him/her. He/She doesn't know anything about me, but if he/she did, he/she would know that I don't want anyone near me, let alone some virus-carrying-slacker. Third, the syllabus says nothing about quizzes and frankly, every day that you don't come to class, you miss something, what the hell do you want me to tell you? Finally, I love the "I never ever like to miss class…" NEVER EVER. That's how serious he/she is about school.

Perhaps you are thinking that this is just a wee bit bitter. Well, you know what? Until you have been a TA for a bunch of whiny babies, you don't judge me. This is just one of many fun emails that I get as a TA. And maybe I'm just not remembering correctly, but I swear that I never asked my TAs anything, let alone whined to them about how I needed the notes, was absent, but really meant to come or needed to take a make-up exam because I just couldn't get to class that day. And now, to prove that I am basically a 75 year old woman trapped in a 40 year old's body, I say this, "In my day, we were made of tougher stuff. I don't know what's wrong with kids today." There, I've said it. I'm not ashamed. And you can be sure that if some damn kid comes and plays near my house, I yell at him to get off my lawn as well. Not that it's my lawn per se, but it's the principle that counts.
In other, less bitter news, it's cold here. Damn cold. In the low to mid 60s. Isn't that special? One day it was around 80 or so with 1000% humidity and the next day it was 50. Apparently Fall has sprung. Everyone keeps saying that it will get warmer again…which means around 75. The next day it will probably snow. Hmm…that's not really less bitter when I think
about it.

Let me try again…um…something positive, let's rack the old brain...um…Ok. Well I appear to be fresh out of nice things to say. I had a long day yesterday, so I think I used up all the reserves. But this is a nice time for a reader poll. For the two of you who actually read this, send in your most positive or uplifting story from the past week. This can be anything: perhaps you won the lottery or your girlfriend is pregnant and the baby is yours, whatever makes your day. Send in this uplifting story and if I use it in my blog, you will get a special prize*.


*Prize award is subject to all taxes and penalties of the state in which you reside. Offer good until 9/30/06. Offer void in Arizona, Illinois, Colorado and Pennsylvania. Offer not valid outside of the continental US.