The Weekend - Campfire Tale Edition Part 2

When we last left our intrepid heroes they were sitting at a campsite preparing to make some lovely dinner and enjoy their night of nature-inspired fun. The tent was up, the bed rolls made, the food and all was in order and pretty. It was time to settle in and enjoy the evening.

The evening started out harmlessly enough. We made Spaghetti O's with Meatballs. Perhaps the most delicious food known to man. Tiny, canned meatballs are a weakness for me. I don't know why. Maybe it's all the preservatives. At any rate, we ate them and then some candy bars (it's near Halloween, plus we had to keep our strength up). Then we settled in. I read my book for a bit. We sat on the rocks and watched the sun set over the lake. We had the fire going by now which was necessary because it was cold. So we sat by the fire and talked and read. It was nice...

Until I started to notice that it was dark. And then, honest to God, I don't know what happened, but it was like a switch flipped. I started thinking that it was awful dark and awful secluded and though there was a couple of troops of Boy Scouts in other parts of the campground, surely a sicko killer would choose us because there is safety in numbers and 2 is the loneliest number since the number 1. Yeah, I freaked out. I blame the large quantity of murder mysteries, crime dramas and other macabre things that I fill my time with. I was mostly fine. I kept it together for a bit, but then I decided that I really just wanted to get into the safety of the tent. Except once we were in the tent I started thinking that the flimsy fabric might not be the safest of all places to be, but whatever. I covered up with the blankets and tried to tough it out. Did I mention that I made Zach take the hatchet with us in the tent? No? Well, I did.

So there we were in the tent. The cold, cold tent on the hard, hard ground. I was dressed in layers, a hat, gloves, and a scarf. I was pretty warm, but also pretty damn uncomfortable. The ground is unforgiving. And so began the long night. I think I fell asleep for awhile. Then I was awoken by crashing in the leaves around us. I was convinced that the murderer was coming for us, but it turned out to be something else...

I call him Clyde the Nighttime Bandit. He (not this one in the picture, but one of its relatives for sure) terrorized me by knocking over the styrofoam cooler that we had (note to self: when going into the wild with animals that are attracted to food smells, bring an actual secure cooler) and then poking around. I think Zach woke up of his own accord at this point. He got up and went out there. He thought that the cooler might have fallen on its own though because nothing was out there and he didn't hear any noises. I knew better, but sometimes knowing is only half the battle. Then I stayed up and listened for more noises and awaited further furry attack. I also went pee in the woods like 5 times during the night. So pleasant. Just as I would almost drift off, Clyde came back. I saw him pawing our stuff and looking at our campsite. We scared him off easily by making noise, but I was by then convinced that we were going to catch rabies and die from that.

I basically stayed awake all night. Listening for killers and animal attackers and being cold. I decided some time during the night that I would just make Zach start a fire a 6 AM (because it would still be dark) and then we could leave as soon as the sun came up. I must have fallen asleep some time around 5:30 or so because I was startled out of sleep at about 7:23 AM to the sound of gun shots. Nice. Maybe hunters. I didn't know. I didn't care. I just knew that the sun was up and that I wanted the hell out of there. Zach wanted a fire and to make breakfast, but at this point I had decided that all of the food in the cooler was tainted by rabies and that we just needed to get the hell away.

Dial in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion of The Weekend!