Sunday, March 29, 2009

My Life in Lists

Top 3 Jobs I am 100% not Suited for:

1. Nurse - One of Zach's wounds opened up. So we went to the emergency room yesterday. It's fine they say...except that he has a 2 x 2 inch wide/tall, 1 inch deep open wound which I now have to monitor for infection and pack with gauze and saline solution twice a day. And you know what? THAT'S NOT COOL. And if I didn't love Zach so much I'd basically say that he was on his own. So if I didn't somehow fall in love with every one of my patients, they would be in such a sorry state. Plus, about once an hour I'd tell them that they were probably gonna die, which again, is not something you want to hear for a medical professional.
2. Waitress - yeah, again, not really a good service person. I would likely starve to death from lack of tips...although I would probably eat food off people's place...before I served it to them! After would just be too gross.
3. Motivational speaker - maybe, if guilt is a motivation, or if what they say about reverse psychology is true. Otherwise, I think that my general doom and gloom demeanor might not be real motivational.

Top 3 Things that I was Convinced I hated, but it turns out I Actually Really Like:

1. Will Ferrell - I was convinced for a long time that I hated him. Convinced! But then I looked at my movie collection and it contained about 85% of all Will Ferrell movies and I thought, "huh, apparently I was wrong."
2. Cilantro - sorta the same story. I kept insisting that I didn't like cilantro. Couldn't stand it. Except that I liked it in a bunch of things. So now, I have to admit, yeah, I love me some cilantro.
3. Turquoise (the gemstone) - I kept thinking damn, I hate that gemstone, stupid, stupid. And then I kept seeing all this turquoise jewelry and coveting it and finally I had to have an intervention for myself to admit, "I do like turquoise".
Also, capri pants.

Top 3 Pet Peeves:

1. People with mouth herpes touching said herpe and then touching other things.
2. Not being able to work when I need to get something done. Just for an example, let's say I had the introduction to my prospectus to write, but instead choose to watch internet TV, work on a blog entry and plan my grocery list. Just hypothetically.
3. When I do something wrong and then have to admit it. Burn.

Top 3 All-Time Favorite TV shows:

1. Murder She Wrote
2. Streets of San Francisco
3. Hmm...that's hard to give the last slot to other shows. There are a lot of good ones I watch. I will cheat and list some: Bones, Life on Mars, Futurama, Monk, Psych, My Name is Earl (not as much as I should), there are many more.

Top 3 Places I would like to live:

1. Someplace awesome.
2. A mythical land in which everyone I knew (and liked) lived 5 minutes from each other.
3. Not so much in Iowa.

Top 3 Things I'd Rather be doing:

1. Sitting at home, watching TV
2. Finishing up the many chores that I have to do still
3. Just completing the last sentence on the introduction to my prospectus (sigh)

Three Things I will likely do tonight:

1. Start and most likely not finish the prospectus intro.
2. Worry about the fact that I burned a bag of popcorn at work and now the entire 3rd floor of my building smells like popcorn.
3. Finish the laundry (fingers crossed)

Three Ways to say "The End":

1. Th-th-th-that's all folks!
2. Fin.
3. So long, suckers!

2 comments:

Jesse said...

Until your list of shows includes "Arrested Development", we can no longer be friends.

Rose said...

That's an excellent point. I was remiss in not putting that on there. I feel bad. I also thought up another job that I would be totally ill-suited for, but have since forgotten. Poor showing, all-around.