A Big Ol' Shame Cycle

I just finished stuffing my face full of corn muffins. That's not dirty code for anything except weight gain. I seem to be eating a lot lately. And by lately I mean, pretty much since I learned I was going to move. That's not good for my figure, unless pear-shaped has become a more popular figure since the last time I checked. Oh well. Zach says that if I want to lose weight I will. I hope that starts working out soon. I hope that the wanting starts to outweigh the calorie intake - pun definitely intended.

But enough about one of my many flaws. I just want to throw that out there so that when I come home and people who haven't seen me in a long time see me - they won't be too shocked and awed. Or perhaps the next two months will be fueled by will-power and I'll be closer to my weight on Uranus. If you bother to figure out the conversion rate, you'll see that I'm not even aiming that high.

The weekend is almost over. Sunday night used to be the worst night of the week for me when I was a kid. There was a period of time, maybe 2 years? A year? I don't know. I think I might have been anywhere from 7-10, I'm not sure, somewhere in there. In that period of time I used to have nightmares every single Sunday night. I would try to go to sleep, but I would always have horrible dreams. I can remember one in which I was a fly and a farmer was trying to kill me. It doesn't seem that scary when I describe it, but I know that it messed with me big time. And to this day, I hate farmers. No, just kidding. Farmers are ok. But that's pretty screwed up, right? Sunday has never been my favorite night.

Sunday Night is continuing to be a pain in my ass as it's Sunday Night Football. What happened to the man I fell in love with? The one that didn't have an appreciation for any sports? Where's that guy? And who the hell replaced him with the dude sitting on my bed, monopolizing my tv with football games? When did that happen?

Speaking of when did that happen, I'm going to try to make up for my lack of recent motivation and get in gear this week. We'll see. Most likely I'll just continue to be lazy (and likely to eat more), but perhaps this will be my week. Maybe I'll be really active and lose some weight this week. I guess a girl can dream.

Thanks for listening out there in cyber land. Hope this weekend is treating you well. Let's make this next week a great one. Or not. The choice is yours. Thanks, Mr. Knight!

A Week in Review

And now for this week's recap...I've done nothing. That's pretty much literal. I'm a horrible person. If the definition is "how much did I accomplish this week", then yeah, horrible person. I've not accomplished anything in months. I feel pretty bad about that. I just wake up each day and don't do anything. I'm completely Peter in Office Space.

Anyway, I did respond to some emails (finally). I also booked a plane ticket for my trip home for Christmas. For all those keeping track -

I get into Sky Harbor at 11:30 PM on Sunday, December 23, 2007.

I'm leaving the friendly confines at 10:55 AM on Sunday, January 13, 2008.

Mark that on your calendars, mark it and wait for it like it's your job. You know Zach has. 3 weeks without me harping on him. It's probably like a little glimpse of heaven.

So that's a couple things I did this week. I made dinner almost every day. That's something. Zach and I hung out with the neighbors. I went to dinner with the housemates. So I am working on the social aspect of things. My mom sent me a check, which is super awesome, I got a little money to help with my support issues...that's code for a bras. I bought some bras and she paid for them. Which is awesome. Thanks, Mom and Dad! The money went to good use. It really did. I am very pleased with the state of the ladies. TMI? Most likely. But I don't think you read someone's "online diary" if you don't want personal facts, yes, no?

Ok, well, now I have to go to a meeting. Then I can cross that off my list too! So sweet. So much awesome doing of things! I'm going to put "Post Blog" back on the list daily so that I start posting more again. Lord knows the world needs a little more Rose.

And Tuesday was its Name-O

A girl that smelled like celery sat down next to me on the bus today...and by sat down I mean, fell into me, stomped on my foot and then collapsed into the seat next to me and sort of leaned on me for a second. Thanks, Celery Girl! I was in need of some human contact today. I just pray that the smell of celery wasn't indicative of some rare disease that you catch by someone brushing up against you. One can only hope.

I've been listening to Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier on SModcast - which is a podcast they do on the internet - it's pretty funny stuff. Jason Mewes just stopped by and they talked to him a bit. Then I looked up pictures of him to see what he's looking like now...man, oh man. He's a hottie. And now he's sober too. I used to have such a crush on him. Now of course, I just dig Zach and don't even look at other men, but once upon a time...sigh.

I obviously do not have a cohesive story to tell right now, so I'm gonna go. But I'll try to be back tomorrow with some good material. Apparently when "Post Blog" isn't written down on my To Do list, I'm just bad at posting. I guess that makes sense though, I really only do the bare minimum to get by.

Hope this Tuesday is working out well for everyone reading.

Hiatus

Just like 30 Rock (only without the funny), we here at My Blog is Better Than Your Blog have been on hiatus. And just like 30 Rock (only lower budget), we're back. The readers (read: me) were constantly hounding us to come back and bring the funny. And I'm here to affirm that one out of two ain't too shabby.

So, the Cubs, not going to the World Series. The D-backs? Sure. On the one hand, that's sad that the Cubs aren't going. On the other hand, I guess the Arizona pride can come out now. And, you can ask anyone who has met me after I moved out of AZ, I'm all about the Arizona pride. I guess I'm always really happy where I was, but never where I am. You know?

Currently, I'm debating what to do today. The first idea was to just stay in bed all day and not move. But then I decided that wasn't responsible of me. So I got up and came into work. I'm not doing much of anything here either, but I'm hoping that inspiration will strike me. Hopefully, it doesn't sting as much as last time.

In other news, I really like a segment that I saw them do on SNL. I suppose it will sound pompous to say that I don't watch SNL any more (and I don't) because it was really only great a long time ago...like before I was born. But that's pretty much true and I'm sticking with it. I'm not a big SNL fan. I don't think I've watched a whole episode in 10 years or more. But I did catch a snippet from the news. They did this segment called, "Really?!? with Seth and Amy" and I thought it was really funny. And also, just so much like something you would say...and when I say you, I mean me. I feel like doing that all the time. When something happens or someone says something, often I want to be like, "Really? That's what you think is a good idea, really??" Most often I don't. But I must let something pass in my tone or on my face because I often get a chilly response. I'm not the textbook definition of nice. If I was better at being insincere, I could nail it, but I'm just a horrible actress. Can't bluff. Oh well. Crosses to bear and all that.

Finally, I'd like to give a big birthday shout out to Ms. Sara whose birthday it is today. I'm planning to call my dear, but in case we don't get to talk: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hope you have a wonderful day. I'm sending you warm thoughts. Hope you got the card.

Best wishes to anyone else reading this today. I know I need them. If you are fighting the blahs as well, solider on, my friend, solider on. We can only do the best with what we've got. I'm going to go try to start working. We shall see how that goes. I'm out.

Wednesday, Again, Really? We Have to Do Wednesday AGAIN?

I keep hoping that if I get a Wednesday right one of these times I can start skipping them. That would be awesome. It seems like there is some sort of cosmic deal that you can make and then you don't have to do your "lamest day" again and again. You get to skip it. Wouldn't that be awesome? I have sooo many good ideas like that. I should be in charge of the universe. I know, I know, it often seems like I do - or at least that I think I do, but I don't.

Today is a random bits and pieces day. As in, I'm going to share random bits and pieces. I'm sure it seems like that's what I normally do, but I like to think that I usually weave at least a thin thread of a story through my narratives...I also like to think that I wear a size 4, but that's pretty far from the truth as well.

• I started riding the Plaen View bus in the morning to school. It's not the most direct route, but if I am going at an odd time I can catch it. I have identified the crazy woman on the bus (no, it's not me...well, alright it might be me, but I'm not alone). I can't quite identify what it is that makes her crazy, but I've got a good feeling. Man, I should have become a clinical psychologist/psychiatrist, I've obviously got talent. She sat down really close to me for a few minutes today, apropos of nothing. She was sitting a seat away. Then suddenly, for no discernible reason she was sitting directly next to me. Then again for no reason (unless she could detect the "get away from me" vibes I was directing at her) she moved back to her original seat. And in case anyone is getting the idea that I don't like crazy people, untrue. I just don't like being touched.
  

• Today after work, Zach and I are going to dinner with our neighbors. They are two really nice guys and it should be a fun time. I'm looking forward to being social. No, I've not been body-snatched.

• Yesterday we had a tornado warning once again confirming that I am just horrible in an emergency situation. I can't be trusted. Parents - don't leave your children with me if we are going to have a crisis. I can't deal with it. I lose my stuff. When I heard the air siren go off (that's the classy way they alert you to danger from above) I immediately dropped everything and went to find Zach. He confirmed that he heard a tornado warning on the radio. So I made us go over to our neighbor's house because they've lived through a tornado before. It hit their building and everything. Actually, it would have been better to stay at our house because we have the more secure basement structure, but whatever. I like to have people with experience around me. So we went over there. And watched the news. And I just kind of huddled there muttering, "we're all gonna die, we're all gonna die." I broke the constant murmur only to occasionally shriek, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE. WHY ME, WHY ME?" as the cable went out for a moment. I figured that the tornado knocked out the cable so that it could sneak up on us better. Long story short, TOO LATE, there wasn't a tornado near us. I mean, nothing touched down near us and it was over by 8 PM.
  

• I have to go work now. And by work I mean finish up my episode of NCIS on the computer before I go to class.
  

One Day Closer to Halloween

So it's October already. That's pretty crazy. I feel as though I'm in a paradox. I mean, I feel like every day is moving really slowly. But then when I think back to a point of reference it seems like time is moving really quickly. I feel like I just got to Iowa City, but I've been here since the middle of July. I didn't say it was a good paradox. Shut up.

I am excited for the prospect of Halloween though. I think Zach and I should dress up as ghosts in big white sheets and go trick-or-treating. We can just pitch up our voices and no one will ever know. Kids are getting really tall these days. I could still be an 11 year old. Is that too old for trick-or-treating? I can't be sure, I don't remember. I do remember that one Halloween being out with a group of girlfriends and we were walking down the street after a Halloween party (I am 98% sure this was a party at Sara's house and maybe that Sara, Blaire, probably Stacey were there) - we were probably 13 or 14 and these older boys in a car pulled up next to us and asked us how old we were and without missing a beat I said, "Too young for you." They just laughed and drove off.

That was a funny moment. I think we were right on the cusp of being at the age when talking to strange boys in a car might seem like a good idea, but my instincts were to just say something to break the tension and convey the "leave us alone" emotion. I tend to do that a lot. Convey true emotions using sarcasm and jokes. I'm sure I can hear a pin drop, such is the shocked silence of anyone who knows me. I am getting better at using words to say how I feel, but I still most often revert to joking around. Especially when I am really uncomfortable. When I get nervous I ratchet up the level of sarcasm until it's dryer than that Sahara...that was a joke that didn't really work there. There were too many factors for it to be successful. Ah well. We'll get 'em next time.

Huh, well. That was a strange post. I used a para-paradox to springboard into a pagan ritual to sail into reminiscing to talk about my feelings. From that description you'd think it would have been more interesting. But it is what it is.

GO CUBS!!!

A Series of Letters

I'm choosing to let everyone in on some letters that I have composed. They are more like notes really, but they are every bit as meaningful as a longer letter to me...and I assume to my audience.

So- without further ado - open letters:

Dear Left Foot -

What's the problem? I mean, I know we've had our ups and downs (literally), but the pain is getting ridiculous. What are you trying to tell me? Are you broken? Sprained? Do you just need attention? I know that I favor the right side, but that's most just a hand thing. I love both you feet equally...although if you don't start behaving, I'm probably going to end up loving the right foot more.

I just feel like I give and give and get nothing in return. I bought you special insoles. I keep you elevated and rested and I've been giving you Advil. When is it my turn to reap some rewards. And by rewards I mean, just stop hurting every time I take a step. Is that really too much to ask?

I'll cut you off. Just ask my nose. I would do it out of spite. Shape up left foot. Be more like your brother, right foot.

-Rose

Dear Hair,

Hi! Long time no see. We've been together for a long time now, through thick and thin (no, mostly just thin) and for the most part we've done well together. But I can't keep supporting your lifestyle choices. I know that you don't get along well with humidity, but I fail to see how that is my problem. Why is it that you can't just lay flat, smooth and shiny? Why, at the first hint of rain, must you rise up to become frizzy and unmanageable?

I feel that I am pretty nice to you. I'm not like other girls I see with the dyeing and the constant blow-drying and curling and product placement. No, I'm fairly low maintenance. I wash you, I condition, sometimes I rinse and repeat. Yet, you choose to disobey. It hurts me, hair, it hurts me. I don't really like to threaten, but I see a hot iron in your future. I'll twist you around until you don't know what hit you. I'll spray you so full of hairspray that you'll never come undone. Do you hear me hair? Start dealing with the humidity constructively or you are going to be in for a world of hurt.

-Rose

Dear 11:15 Plaen View Bus Driver,

While I applaud your liberal use of the horn in traffic and your constant impatience- two qualities I, myself, posses- I would like to offer some light criticism. While I believe that getting me from point A to point B in the shortest possible time is commendable, I feel that some of your tactics on the road might be seen as dangerous. The tailgating of the cars in front of us on that curvy road. The near misses that we have with pedestrians in the cross walk. The sudden, swift starts and stops that we make.

Additionally, I'm not sure why you refuse to stop at the bus stop that is on the street corner of the street I live on. You always stop a street before that at a place that does not have a bus stop sign or really any meaningful marker. I'm not really criticizing. If that's your bag, ok, cool. It's just somewhat weird. And I'm also not really sure what happened today when the guy pulled the bell for my stop and you stopped early and then he told you that he wanted to go to the corner, but then got out anyway and then you pulled away so fast that I wasn't able to get out, so that I was forced down into the seat, even though I was sitting at the front and trying to exit. I mean, it worked out well for me because that guy was at the bus stop on my corner, so you had to stop and I did get out, but I'm just wondering why we have to play these games?

And in case by some strange coincidence of the universe, you read random blogs...I'm the tall, leggy, blond girl that rides your bus.

-Concerned Passenger

Dear Stranger in a Red Truck,

Hello, sir. I just wanted to drop you a quick note to see if you had accomplished everything you needed to today with your, "hey baby" comment that you hurled at me out your window as you drove by. Was that everything you thought it would be? Did it go ok? I'm not sure what the purpose was, but I hope that by cat-calling to me out your window you were able to feel a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Bless you,

Girl walking in a Big Gray Sweatshirt and Ill-fitting Black Pants