That's not fun...that's Littering

The title is an inside joke. I'll let you in on it though because I like you. Zach and I went to the football game on Saturday because a) I love football b) I love huge crowds of drunk people and c) I love sitting outside in cold, windy weather. As we were sitting outside the stadium (because we didn't have tickets, just a need to party) an empty popcorn cup came fluttering down over the side of the wall and sort of floated in the air for a bit. Zach said, "That's fun." To which I replied, "That's not fun, that's littering." The preceding pretty much sums up our world views.

So we went to the football game on Saturday. We walked the mile and change to the stadium and hung out for a bit and watched the game and talked to people. Our neighbors go all the time, so we met up with them for a bit. It was pretty standard and routine. Well, I have no idea really if it was standard and routine as I have never been to a sporting event at a college ever. Never. Not in undergrad, not in the first part of Graduate school, not as a kid. No interest. But damn if I am not a supportive partner. So if Zach wants to go, I go. And I only bitched a little bit. Not even enough to be annoying, just enough to convey what a nice person I was for going along with his plans. He is so lucky.

At the game I was hit on by a 50 year old man wearing a hawk mask ("we" are the Hawkeyes afterall). He wasn't wearing it at the time he was hitting on me. It was just resting on top of his head. Did I mention he was super drunk? Well, he was and he kept asking if I wanted to give him a colonoscopy. Because my neighbor said I was going to be a doctor (the real kind, not an MD) and he wouldn't take no for an answer. Then he wanted to know if I could cure A.D.D. I told him I wasn't even that kind of psychologist. But he was not to be deterred. He wanted me to take off my sunglasses because "those are too big" and he wanted to see my eyes. I told him no. Then he showed me a swimsuit calendar and told me, "Oh that's where I know you from, see, on the cover." He tried to pull up my coat to get a look at my ass. Oh yes, and when we first met, he made me hug him and then tried to keep an arm around me. And I'm sure you know how much I love to be touched by strangers. I got away from him as fast as I could and told Zach what happened. I didn't want my honor defended. I mostly just wanted assurance that I wasn't going to catch any diseases off of the hug or anything. Zach got pissed though. I told him not to say anything, but he ended up going over and saying a few words. They guy asked, "Are you giving me shit?" And then something else. Zach wanted to kick his ass, but violence is never the answer, so we left. I'm not sure why people think that drunk = act like an asshole, but that's what so often happens. That's not fun, that's assault.

Then we went and ate Mexican food and then we went home. It was a pretty good day considering.

I'll tell you about our Anniversary (which was on Sunday - 3 years!) in the next installment. I have to go take a few deeps breaths into a paper bag so I can calm down. All the "not working" can be hard on you after awhile.