Ruby Tuesday

Today we will have a discussion of the bus.

I ride the bus everyday to and from work. I'm fine with that for the most part. I like not having to drive or park and the bus runs on corn cobs, so I'm really doing my part for Mama Nature. I like the bus because I don't have to do anything except walk to it and then I'm good to go - the bus driver does all the work. I often compose blog posts on the bust, but most of the time they don't actually make it on the blog. But man, oh man, they are so good in my head. Alas, so often it's much better in my head than the outside world.

I also love the bus because it's a microcosm. It's just like real life, shrunk down and placed in front of me to study, like my own little petri dish of human amoeba. I like to watch the interactions between people. I observe the habits of people. It's fascinating, like a nature program. There's this guy on there who always puts his stuff on the seat next to him, but the bus gets really crowded, so he usually moves it. BUT he only moves it a little bit and he invades the space of the seat next to him with parts of his bag or by leaning over it. So no one - unless they get really desperate- wants to sit near him. It's an awesome technique and I totally admire it.

Another thing I like to do on the bus is make up stories about the people that get on. These stories are based on facts I collect about the people. I'm good at observing things. Zach calls me a "little Jessica Fletcher" because I'm very observant. So I try to guess where people are from and what they are doing going to school at the same time. At the time I ride the bus in the morning it's a bunch of doctors, dentists, nurses, receptionists and students of the listed professions. I can tell because a) they are wearing scrubs b) they have ID cards identifying them. I'm just that brilliant.

So I do like the bus for the most part, but there is something that I don't like about the bus. There are way too many people invading my personal sphere on the bus. I don't think I've ever been on the bus and been able to escape being touched by someone. I'm not into that. Today a dude managed to touch me twice. Back off dude who is caring two duffel bags at 8:00 in the morning for some unknown reason. Stop touching me. It's not cool. People stand too close, sit too close and keep touching me. I don't know where these people have been or what their personal hygiene habits are. I do know that if someone would invent the human-sized hamster ball complete with air system and all necessary facilities that I've been dreaming of, my life would be tons easier. Why do all the stupid ideas (i.e., flow-bee, the clapper, etc.) get invented, but super awesome ideas like a human hamster ball go unrealized?

I'm going to leave you with that thought for the day. Enjoy. Think positive thoughts for me and maybe I can avoid being manhandled on the way home.