Saturday is College Football Day...Apparently

Today I was going to go to the homecoming game, but I didn't want to walk the 1 mile there and 1 mile back (see how that works? it's physics or something). I didn't want to risk hurting my foot/ankle more. So I didn't go. But I hear it was a good time. Iowa lost though. I'd muster up some disappointment at this outcome, but I'm not really that emotionally invested.

In other sports news, the Cubs are the NL Central Division Champions. That's pretty sweet. Apparently I'm willing to emotionally invest in some sports. Who knew?

Right now I am waiting for Zach to start the movie and shut off the stupid college football that he is watching. I won the rock/paper/scissors contest (rock - for those of you wondering), so he has to get popcorn and iced tea and start the movie at 9 instead of 9:30 or 10:00 which was his previous estimate. I run a tight ship up in here at Casa de Halterman. Not really. I run a ship full of holes, rats and pirates, but again, I digress.

I was planning to write something coherent, some sort of essay. I really think that was my intention earlier, but sadly, I've forgotten what it was that I thought was so profound or possibly entertaining. I'll try to work on that for later.

I took a nap today and it just wiped me out. It was like an anti-nap or something. I woke up and now I'm all tired and groggy. Ah well. I also bought some new bras today. That's probably something that not everyone needs to know. But this is my blog and as I'm probably the only one who reads it with any regularity, I'll share what I want to. The woman in front of me in line was paying with a check. I was sort of unaware that people still used checks. I stopped to think about the purpose of a check. I mean, sure, you can use it to mail in with your monthly bills...although those are on-line now too. I don't know why you ever need to use a check when you are transacting in person. I'm not saying that everything has to be done with a debit card. Cash is cool too. But why, if you have the money in your checking account aren't you just paying with a debit card? Welcome to the 15th Annual Meeting of the Judgemental Whores Club. Sorry, mystery woman. If you want to pay by check, go for it. Who am I to judge?

I also read Dear Abby today. Reading that column unfailingly makes me shocked and awed. It's like that Van Buren woman is staging an offensive against me and it's totally working. I have to believe that these letters are fake. Are there really people out there with such lame problems who can't find a person in their lives to ask? I mean, really. I try not to read it, but sometimes after I finish the comics I still have a little leftover time and my eye wanders. Today there was a letter about a woman who is allergic to cold. She says that she can't eat, drink or breathe anything at a cold temperature for fear that she will die. I just right this minute (now, it was that minute) googled allergy to cold and according to the Mayo Clinic it's possible. Although they didn't mention death. Go ahead, google it yourself, you know you want to. Regardless of what the internet is telling me (All hail the Internet - Keeper of Knowledge) - I still find an allergy to cold hard to believe. Cold is not even a thing. It's a state. How can you be allergic to a state? Except for Florida. I can see being allergic to Florida. OOOOOOHHHHHH BURN!

Ok, I'm out. It's time for the movie and really the whole post was just a set-up for a single joke. Check and check. Good-night.