Today Was A Good Day*

Today (or tonight rather) I bring you some updates and a story.

So my foot still hurts. It might hurt less than yesterday, but it's hard to tell. I'm too precious to suffer so I don't do it well.

Today I gave a presentation in front of a large group of people. It was only 5 minutes. People told me I did well. I don't know. I'm uber critical of myself, so I'm not a fair judge. I do know that I was talking really, really fast. Partway through I thought, "Man, I am talking way too fast." But by then I had momentum and I just had to plow through. But at least it's done now.

Jesse also mentioned that there is a "service" that will turn your blog into a book. I make you this promise people, if I get the iPod Nano (or similarly awesome gift) for my birthday, the party favors are going to be books. Books of this blog. That's right, that offer just happened. I know, I know, some of you are wetting yourselves now. And those of you who know me are just so excited about the possibility. I know, I know.

I'm currently not dead from eating any broken glass. I'm not sure when the danger will be passed though because I don't know how long it takes glass in your system to kill you. I'm not a doctor. I just play one in my mind.

And now, the story. Zach works at a property management company and he gets to field calls from the tenants. Sometimes they yell at him. Sometimes they ask him annoying questions. And sometimes they just hand him comic gold:

A girl calls up and says, "Um...I have a problem."
"Ok, what can I help you with?"
"I think my oven is broken."
"Uh-huh and what's wrong with it?"
"Well, I turn it on and then it turns itself off and then I have to turn it on higher and then it turns itself off again and then finally I keep turning it up until I can't turn it up any higher and it still shuts itself off."

Do you see where this story is going? Because it's awesome. And if you don't see where this is going then, that's just sad for you. Sad for you and the privileged princess that can't use her oven.

So at this point, Zach has to put her on hold so that he can laugh at her because he can't contain himself any longer.

Zach, "Ok, so um...here's what I think is happening. I think your stove still works. What happens is that the stove is preheating. So it's not actually turning off."
"Huh...um...ok, see I don't cook a lot."

Newsflash, really? Really, you don't cook a lot? I never would have guessed. No, I'm being sarcastic. I would totally have guessed.

"Why don't you try turning it on and putting something in there to cook and if I doesn't cook then you can call us back and I'll send someone out."
"Ok"

He reports that after a little bit, she seemed to feel a little abashed. I think it's awesome that this girl is able to be in an apartment by herself (or with some unlucky roommate) and she doesn't know how an oven works. What kind of special life did she lead that she's never used an oven? Zach said, "What kind of mean nanny, doesn't teach a kid how to work a stove?" It's a good point. We laughed for a long time yesterday when he told me. It's just incredible that she didn't feel that the oven was really, really hot. You'd think by trial-and-error she would have figured out that it was working. I mean, a trained monkey can make a frozen pizza - no offense intended to the trained monkeys reading this blog. I imagine her in the apartment, frozen food in hand, just sitting there hungry and trying to figure out what to do. And finally concluding that maybe it's a KFC kind of night.

Ok, that's it for now. I'm tired and I need to go to sleep.

Good-night.

*I do love me some Ice Cube.